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i'm just running through the motions. i want my life to mean… - Joe [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Joe

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[Feb. 1st, 2003|12:55 am]
Joe
i'm just running through the motions.

i want my life to mean something, to really shine. and i feel more and more that i haven't experienced this at all. because all i do is think about how things used to be or how things should be, how my life used to be purposeful, and how someone else benefited from my existence.

i want to learn. a passion, a craft, a career. a trade, a discipline, anything to devote my life to whole heartedly. i want to study, but not books, and lectures, and calculus. but apprenticeships, and mentors, and understudy, and honor.

i want to love someone so much that i can't breathe anymore. to fall head over heels, and to be fallen over, loved back. because what else is live worth living for.

i wish that my hairline wasn't receding, i wish that i had a beard. i wish that next time i talk to my parents no one mentions money.
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Comments:
From: ravelious
2003-02-01 11:37 am (UTC)
Aw, Joe, it'll get better, I promise.

You've got really high expectations of the world and that's not necessarily a bad thing; in fact, it's good that you're feeling this sense of urgency instead of being complacent.

But don't get too panicked that time is running out. I can tell you from experience that there comes a point where one is too focused on the way life's going by too fast to notice the good things that are around.

And you can disregard this note if you want, because, hell, what would a sixteen-year-old know about life, right?

Hugs, Joe.
(Reply) (Thread)
From: halfcrazy
2003-02-07 07:08 am (UTC)

i've found that writing letters-- really meaningful, beautuful, long, naked letters-- can be a catalyst for a million things.

do that, and don't wear horizontal stripes, and you'll be fine.
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[User Picture]From: rainwaterglass
2003-06-29 08:33 pm (UTC)
you inspire me. daily.
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